Instalment 2 of the weekend of hate will be with you shortly. However, I thought I would take a moment to share something with you. I was once sent into depression by my Latin teacher who suggested (as part of a campaign to convince us that the ancient Greeks and Romans were very very clever and worth reading in preference to watching football) that we could not think a thought that had not been thought before long ago. For years I have been listening out for people saying things that I suspect have never been said by anyone else.
A good candidate on this weeks Horizon (the BBC’s science show):
“This is probably the most radio-active weasel in a collection anywhere”.
Of course it appears to be implicit in what he says that there are collections pf radio-active weasels the world over so this sentence may not be unique.
Can you think of anything that you have said (or heard said) that you believe had never been said before?
how about ‘I wish that bloody nightingale would shut up’?
(Context – I was surveying warblers in Greece where nightingales are quite common and bloody loud. They’re basically thrushes with good PR. Even so I was surprised to hear myself say it)
Are you sure that Plato didn’t say that?
My friend Holly said, “Caucasians give me the runs”. I don’t know, maybe somewhere on Papua/New Guinea that’s been mumbled a few times…
Yes.
Every day.
I’m convinced.
Today’s unique entry:
“Don’t touch your sister with that unicorn again!”
Also
“Why is there a Barbie shoe in my zucchini bread batter?”
From my dearest mother many years ago:
“Black people often don’t have checking accounts, honey. They prefer to keep their money under the mattress.”
So now when I visit Certain Friends, I routinely excuse myself from dinner and go raid the stash.
In full-disclosure, my mother denies ever having made this statement.
dc – Sounds like the start of a good ode.
KC – you are too modest. By my reckoning about half of everything you write qualifies.
Jozet – I surrender – those are both certain winners
Andreia – It’s old ladies who conform to that behaviour over here … apparently
I don’t think I’m that unique…..unfortunately.
Manny – You are completely unique – that’s why I love your blog
‘My, pog, you look lovely in that frilly dress ….’
I have never forgiven my old schoolmate for making me wear a pink, tiered, cheesecloth long dress when she forced me to be her bridesmaid (it was emotional blackmail – tears and everything). I had short hair then as well and they had to staple gun the little flowery headband to my skull.
The other bridesmaid, having long, dark glossy hair, looked stunning of course.
Pog – are there pictures out there somewhere on the internet?
I bloody hope not, moobs.