I have lots to write about and no time to do it. I give you, therefore, an embarrassing moment from the life of Moobs. An amuse bouche to tide you over. Feel free to try to top it.
One afternoon I was working on some papers in P’s house (it was shortly before we were married). She had gone out to meet someone and, as is the way with men left alone, my mind started to wander. I had been wearing some shoes that generated massive amounts of static as I walked across the carpet which had then discharged with a little spark when I stroked our cat “Vinny”.
I was intrigued and found that if I held my hand over Vinny’s back his fur would rise slightly. How far could this phenomenon be taken I wondered. Faced with an opportunity for work avoidance like that I threw myself into it.
That was how P came home to find me dressed in lycra cycling shorts, a reliably static-inducing Chelsea replica football shirt and my “special shoes” rubbing the cat on my chest.
Hopefully you managed to allay her suspicions that you might be a geek by claiming you were just a sexual deviant.
Strangely she did not ask for an explanation. She simply stared at me for a bit and then walked off.
Well, what do you say to that?!
I can see why she fell in love with you.
And she still married you?
Norah, once I’d delivered the sheep to her family she had no choice. thta’s the way in Scotland. Send me your mail details so I can send you your plonk.
I LOVE this! Stories like this make me feel like I am not the only one who conducts “scientific” experiments and exhibits bizarre behavior in my alone time. Hilarious.
Lucky you weren’t rubbing the cat on your lycra shorts, or the outcome might’ve been very different ….
Anyone who has ever had a clawing will understand that the cat placement was an important safety feature.
Thank you, Moobs. After two years of relentless clawing from my cat you’ve finally provided me with some suitable payback: electric shocks. And I don’t give a stuff how odd I look while doing it.
Now… where can I get a pair of those shoes?
I just spit water onto my keyboard at work! 🙂 Thanks for making me laugh this morning…I soooooo needed it.
We’re back to cats again, aren’t we?
Don’t try that with my cat. Not today. Not if if has just been locked out of my flat. Cat placement nothing you are gonna get scratched – did you see my hand?
Boog – mwahaha
Jen – I hope the day got better
Spanner – er .. just off to delete the monster cat-realted post I had up my sleeve for tomorrow
Lia – I did and marvelled at your forgiveness. I’d be turning him into slippers.
AAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHA!!! EXCELLENT! THAT’S FUCKING BRILLIANT! Oh, moobs, very funny. I wish that I could’ve seen her face.
That you for being a bright spot at the end of my day! That’s brilliant. I would try that on my cat, but she’d look at me and know… she’d just know…
OF COURSE she still married you, sheep or no sheep… your brilliant enough to try producing cheap electricity in your spare time! Most men I know occupy their free time with a remote and a beer.
By the way, I empathize with your “so much to write and no time” condition. Hang in there!
Moobs – this is a bit cheeky, but I want to leave a message here for Kevin Charnas. Kevin – How come I can’t leave a message on your blog for you, like I can with Moobz’ here? I want to find out what the folks of California think of Little Britiain, since its a link on your blog….
Bruno says we’re not allowed to get a cat, though now I can show him what fun there is to be had, I think he’s going to change his mind! Well done moobs!