Staying with us at the moment are my sister-in-law and her three boys (all 6 or younger). I am their “favourite uncle”. Given that they only have two that is not an impossibly difficult accolade to win. I secured the title by spending my time with them throwing them in the air and tickling them. A simple but effective strategy.
The evening they arrived I was out entertaining clients. At 6 am the following morning I awoke, head thumping with my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth. The three boys were scratching at the door like cats. “Is the tickle man there?” “Uncle Moobs, get up now please”. I stuffed a pillow into each year and groaned. Small boys are not so easily put off. David, age 4, is particularly persistent. Having winkled me out of bed, he stood in front of me looking at me seriously. As I was plainly unwilling to perform my avuncular duty I required goading into it.
David: You’re fat Uncle Moobs
Moobs: I cannot deny it
David: Hmm … you’re fat and bald!
Moobs: Steady on old chap that’s a bit harsh
David’s Mum: David!! COME HERE NOW!
David: Why?
DM: I want to lecture you.
David pads away in his slippers
DM: When you stay in someone’s house you must be nice to them. Go and tell Uncle Moobs that he is a handsome prince.
David pads back and fixes me with a level stare
David: Uncle Moobs you are … a fat balding princess!
I’ve never seen that version of Cinderella.
It’s Grimm
Out of the mouths of babes…
He’s definitely in competition with waffle’s Princess ….
thats one cheeky young man
and some people still insist that it’s wrong to hit children……
Tell him he’s a little smarmy dwarf…that ought to go over well with the sister-in-law! 😉
Oh my god … kids are adorable in their innocent, shameless, brutal honesty! If you’re not crying at the end of the day by having the mirror shoved right up into your face all day long by those humans who are not afraid to say what they think, feel, and observe, then you are doubled over laughing at how silly and cute they can be. Thanks for the great laugh. Your nephews sound cute.
A fat balding princess… sounds like an idea for a Tony Award winning musical… Kids, they’re great when you can hand them back!
Moobs, Nothing to do with today’s entry – but I’m keen to know about your interest in employment law…….Do tell me why….
Jen – I have been given strict rules about not upsetting my sister-in-law
Amanda – He is cute and cheeky with it
Bec – I’m investing in a pair of legwarmers and a leotard immediately
Spaniel – I do it for a living 🙁
Hey Moobs…… I’m a little scared to admit it, but……..
I do it for a living too……………………….
Perhaps we should start a group like alcoholics anonymous?
DS – lol. There’s a decent chance we’ve met then. I think a 12 step plan would be a great idea.
Step 1: I accept that TUPE damages me and my family