The Cat Translator

Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 198 user reviews.

16 thoughts on “”

  1. that was fantastic. but where is the, “oh, btw, i peed in the corner of your son’s room” or the “hey, no biggie, but there’s a hairball that exactly matches your carpet beside your bed”

  2. I used to be with a girl who had four (really!) cats, wouldn’t shut them out of the bedroom; having sex while they wandered into the room and examined – with a very critical eye – what was going on was one thing. Waking up with one sitting on your chest, pawing your face at 5am was, frankly, a step too far. The relationship ended. 🙂

  3. I have a 20 year old cat who is either senile or deaf or both. I can’t tell if he meows so much because he can’t hear himself, or if he keeps forgetting that he’s just meowed.

    Kitty pooped on my old boyfriend’s coat the first time he spent the night. As if to emphasize his point, on a subsequent night stuck his cold nose in my boyfriend’s butt crack as we were having sex. Game over.

    Brenning – was that you?? 😉

  4. Yep, that about sums up Izzy… other than the ‘It’s 3 am and all is well, except you’re asleep and I’m not’ call…

  5. The face in Lesson Four is also the face for I’ve thrown a hair ball up on your new cashmere sweater. I love cats as long as I don’t have to live with them.

  6. Shouldn’t it be;

    “Feed me, you asshole!”
    “Feed me, you asshole!”
    “Feed me, you asshole!”
    “I’ve shat in your handbag, and you’ll like it!….you asshole!”

    No? Oh.

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