He’s back – the man who rids Advice of its vice.
Dearest Brother Moobs,
Returning from the field I lay with my wife. I discovered that she was gripped by the uncleaness of her monthly period. What should I do?
Dear Brother,
First your sexual relations were UNLAWFUL (Lev 18 v. 19). Indeed, t’was unlawful even to approach your wyf to couple. You are now unclean and shall remain so for 7 days (Lev 15 v. 24). Do not touch your children and try to eat with your feet.
Dearest Brother Moobs
I came home last night and found my dad had eaten the Spicy Tomato Pot Noodle I had been looking forward to all blasted week. I told him he was an addle-pated oaf. What punishment awaits him?
Oh vile serpent,
You have cursed your father and must die (Lev 20 v. 9).
Dearest Brother Moobs
My Son has grown a moustache and wears leather chaps for no apparent reason. He spends his Saturday evenings in somewhere called “Heaven” (which is a comfort) with his male friends. However, his room is suspiciously tidy. I am very worried.
Dear Sister
Young men of your son’s age are just coming to terms with their identities. He will awash be with hormones. You will need to be sensitive. Try to encourage the interest in horse riding that his chaps clearly indicate. If his companions make such an effort to get him into Heaven you have nothing to fear. You are lucky he has found such upstanding young men to spend his time with.
Do you have a problem for Brother Moobs?