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I’ve just had a call to inform me that I have been elected to the Committee of the Employment Law Bar Association. Now this represents only a tiny quantity of power so I am not, at present, able to institute the reign of terror that, as you know, I have long been contemplating.

For the present, I will have to concentrate on some mild cronyism and corruption and build slowly towards the subjugation of all earthlings. That, of course, gives you all a period of grace within which generally to throw off your puny human forms and cleave to me in subjugation. There is a special subjugatee “early-bird” deal, the details of which are available on application.

Now begone from my presence … you there … crawl out backwards you worm! I must be left alone to practice my maniacal cackle BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I have lots to write about and no time to do it. I give you, therefore, an embarrassing moment from the life of Moobs. An amuse bouche to tide you over. Feel free to try to top it.

One afternoon I was working on some papers in P’s house (it was shortly before we were married). She had gone out to meet someone and, as is the way with men left alone, my mind started to wander. I had been wearing some shoes that generated massive amounts of static as I walked across the carpet which had then discharged with a little spark when I stroked our cat “Vinny”.

I was intrigued and found that if I held my hand over Vinny’s back his fur would rise slightly. How far could this phenomenon be taken I wondered. Faced with an opportunity for work avoidance like that I threw myself into it.

That was how P came home to find me dressed in lycra cycling shorts, a reliably static-inducing Chelsea replica football shirt and my “special shoes” rubbing the cat on my chest.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If you do,  is it possible to fall in love with someone in an old photograph?