Haroo and Huzzah, P is coming home this evening after spending a few days in Scotland with her family. It will be lovely to see her again for many many reasonas but one is that the house has begun to scare me. It just seems to have stopped working properly.
Normally, if I drop my clothes in a pile by the side of the bed, they are whisked away to the washing machine and re-appear in the cupboard nice and clean and freshly-pressed. I have to confess to having no idea how this works but it is plainly a triumph of modern house-building technology.
But when I woke this morning there were my previous day’s boxers sat a-crumpled and unappetising by the bedside still. Imagine my consternation when I found that the plates and glasses I had left on the kitchen table last night WERE STILL THERE. There has obviously been a system failure of some kind but I simply cannot work out how to re-boot the house. I’m sure P will have the manual somewhere. She is always really good at knowing where things have been tidied away to.
She must have taken the kindly house fairies with her and left you with only the surly and lazy domestic elves.
Moobs, strangely enough the reverse has happened in my flat this weekend. Usually it just stops working when I go away for the weekend, but I have come back to find that it’s working even better than usual – even the hoover has been employed.
I think I may have stolen your cleaning karma.
Ha!
Well, I’m heading for hospital tomorrow and won’t be back in my house until Friday. I’ve been cleaning all day, writing “here’s where we keep the broom” notes, and taking photos so that when I say, “I’d love if the house looked somewhat like the way I left it” at least my family will have a reference.
Reboot! Bah!
Kristin – trhat may explain it all. Was I supposed leave porridge out for them or a tiny gold coin wrapped in a leaf or something?
Katja – A hoover?
Joz – I’m really excited for you. Good Luck!!!
I took the fairies and the gnomes and I am not giving them back either.
My stepmom clears things around their house that my dad will set something down and it’s gone 15 minutes later. She’s a bit obsessive and I think it drives him batty. He’s only got one spot where he’s allowed to leave whatever things he likes. She also does a load of laundry EVERY NIGHT. Even with two teens in the house, there still can’t be enough to justify every night! She’s a lovely woman though. 🙂
I read this to my husband. I dont know if it was because I had the computer in bed with us, which I hear isn’t too sexy, or because he thought I was bitchin’; but he didn’t find it too funny. I found it to be a brilliant acknowledgment of your wife’s contribution to your well-being.
Can she stop over at my house before she comes home?
WOAH. Dude.
If that ever happens again, burn the boxers. If you leave dirty laundry on the floor, it propagates. Especially under the bed: under the bed is better than a compost bin. And also, crockery: throw it out the window (and the hell with the traffic).
If anything gets dirty, torch it. (This goes for the shower as well. Although at this point you will have put yourself on an irreversable course towards being forced to incinerate yourself on principle).
….
You can’t reboot the house. But you can steralize it. With cleansing flame.
….
Yes, this is my 16th house as a tenant. In 3 years. Why do you ask?
If that type of technology exists in this house, sadly, neither of us have the gumption to figure out how to reboot.
We still seem to have the old manual kind of house. Neither of us can work out how to get it to work properly, although now that we have mice we think the floors may be getting a bit cleaner. Anybody know a good mouse trainer? I reckon they could easily work the washing machine if they tried
Strange, but I have a similar experience with house when my husband’s away. The trash cans around here seem to fill up and stay filled, and the bugs don’t seem to die, no matter how loud I scream.
(I’m just catching up after being away. I’m crushed that I missed your latest contest. Not that I would win. Not that I’m saying they’re FIXED or anything illicit like that.)
Yes, please send this royalty my way, too. This is wonderful that you recognize what she adds to your life- give that queen a big hug and a dozen roses and smooch her like there’s no tomorrow. She’s one of a kind. And…non sequitor: Good luck on your second marathon! I stopped at two. But after a reprieve I kinda want to see if I can do it again. HA! and I just got yoru name- Moobs, man boobs. AHAHAH. You’re funny. I suspect you have none anymore.