Heather’s posts are always good. Sometimes moving, often hilarious and today thoughtful and provoking. She has been writing about feminism and the comments turned to equal opportunities. Because I am an employment lawyer, I have a professional interest in the area and mind-dumped some points on the comments page.
I would like to share one point with you here. Squeezing my cerebral lemon for all it’s worth I offer you this droplet of wisdom. If you are a woman and a male colleague sidles up to you red-faced and says:
“Apparently there is a rumour going round that we are seeing each other” – start running!
I need scarcely tell you there is no such rumour. I hear this over and over again in evidence in proceedings because men think it is a little fragment of genius. Note he is not saying he wants to go out with you. He therefore has total deniability. What he is hoping is that you will say:
“Wow … that thought gets me … mmm … hot. Let’s give them something to talk about”.
Bear in mind that anyone stupid enough to use that approach (and they number in the millions) will not necessarily realise when you say:
“What the … which morons are saying that?”
that you think the very idea ridiculous and repellent in equal measure. You are not, technically, saying no. I would recommend that you say the following:
“Wow … that’s kind of embarrassing for me. Do you think you could talk to whoever told you about this rumour and make it clear to them that I wouldn’t go out with you EVER”.
Ahh. Now I understand your link to Employment Law, Moobs. I will remember this. I’m not a lawyer, I’m an HR professional. (Please don’t spit). Your kind and my kind are often seen together at parties. (The parties I’m referring are rarely the cocktail variety, they’re usually informally titled ‘what the HELL are we going to do about such and such’).
I’m fortunate – I haven’t had any sexual harassment cases of late. Mine tend to be hullying and harassment, and people pretending to be absent due to injury…….who are subsequently seen working in other jobs. Ho hum.
Ha – how brilliant. Someone tried a very similar line with me once.
someone did use that very same line on me. I sprayed the lemonade I was drinking out through my nostrils, which I thought was clear body language for “Good God, what a ridiculous idea!” but he still pursued.
so why is it we women get accused of not saying things straight and using hidden messages?
…and then I said, “Your great-grandfather and my great-grandmother were lovers. What about it?”, and he said “What about what?”, and the rest is history.
Have any of you ever seen this line actually work?
Nope.
I have never seen such a line work…it seems cheesy really. But then again…I am sure I fell for a few back in my singleton days.
This is good advice…though at my work it’s all women…so if one of them used this line on me…I feel I would have a pretty good response. 😉
I’ve had that line a few times – and realised it was a deniable hint – so have always gone for (audible at 5 miles) demolition of same.
Pog 0 that is quite some aural detonation. Are you covered by a treaty of some kind?