I’m not proud. Facing the prospect of suddenly acquiring two daughters I need advice, plenty of it and urgently.
If you could tell me just one thing about bringing up daughters what would it be?
I’m not proud. Facing the prospect of suddenly acquiring two daughters I need advice, plenty of it and urgently.
If you could tell me just one thing about bringing up daughters what would it be?
Ah, girls. Have 2 myself (Eldest aged 11 years & youngest one aged 23 months) so have the scars to show for it! Seriously, I think the best answer (& pukiest but true) is love but you and P know that already that’s why they picked you. If you do want some proper advice from someone with the scars, drop me a line. Our eldest is “on the autism spectrum” so I tend to do a lot of reading up on what is “normal”, let me know if you want some Amazon pointers.
PS Stop worrying, its going to the best adventure of your life.
V x
i would say it’s always tempting to be over protective of girls but you have to find the right balance between suffocating them and letting them have their freedom. Speaking as a girl who knows, it just all gets too much and you feel like you can never live up to all the high expectations.
PS they all love make up, bubble bath and chocolate 😉
If they’re anything like me you’ll have a dead easy time of it – Daddy’s Girl and proud of it. Seriously, though, it’s all about loving them and treating them as human beings. I think you and P will be fab. xxx
Just love them the best you can.
x
Oh and do all you can to give them confidence.
Dad says: watch them when they play Super Mario Bros.
This is so great. How old are they? And are they biological sisters?
I like Katya’s take on things – to just love them and treat them like people. The rest will come… You won’t have to think about it, I think. I just show a lot of time, support and enthusiasm to my nieces and get on with them really well. Like you will with your daughters.
When they get to about 14 and decide a) you are senile b) they are much more clever than you c) are getting in the way of their deserved happiness by putting “unreasonable” restrictions on their bedtime/lifestyle/clothing/lack of clothing/alcohol intake I recommend you use the following line:
“Clearly you are mistaking this for a democratic arrangement. It is, in fact, a benevolent dictatorship where I am both absolute monarch and head of international bank of first and last resort”.
Well girls are much the same as boys – mine fight, bite, pull hair, scream and my one daughter does a trick where she stands up at the loo and ‘pees like daddy’ – only they are different in that they will have the ability to wrap you round their little finger with one sweetly said “daddy can I please have an ipod?” and one flutter of the lashes. Girls talk A LOT and are always in the bathroom putting on mum’s makeup (tell Penny to hide hers NOW). In fact you might be best off putting all funds into building a new bathroom for the use of the girls.
and a separate telephone line…
Girls have cooties.
Good luck!
Oh congratulations moobs! You must be so thrilled. And terrified.
Um – they don’t all love make-up, bubble-bath and chocolate, just most of ’em. You’ll be fine – just do what you do best, listen, consider and be yourself.
Sometimes they will be insane. Like, way more insane than adult women are (I resemble my own remark, by the way). Forgive them in advance, because they don’t know why they’re doing it, either.
Also, my Dad will probably agree with me on this after experience: never finish the biscuits/chocolate.
I think the important thing is to have no fixed ideas about what little girls should be like – they’re not all made of sugar and spice. Mine is more of a puppy-dog-tail sort of person.
P would love a tomboy! It’s the Disney princess she fears.
Lucy, I Intend to have my own secret stash.
I am so delighted!
Reserve judgement and have no imediate expectations, especially about having much sleep if they are young. and as for the pink – if you do escape it you should sell the formula.
Am so looking forward to the next few blog entries…
Sorry I can’t help, I’m not a parent and I was never a little girl, so I can’t speak from either experience.
I suppose I could offer an opinion…
…nah. You’ll figure something out.
Congratulations and Good luck though.
I think the most important thing about bringing up daughters is for them to see, in you and by the example you set, how a man should behave. We always assume that it’s our children of the same sex who will most be looking to us as role models, but the opposite sex parent has an equally important role. Daughters watch how their fathers treat their mothers – and women in general – and get a template by which they will judge men in their future.
I think, by the way, that you will pass this particular test with flying colours.
HUGS. Lots of hugs … between you and P, and you and them. That’s really all you need. 🙂
ps It is possible to have a girly-tomboy. My daughter adores climbing rope, sledding down horribly steep hills, and all manner of outdoor activities. She also loves to wear dresses, and pink (and in the case of dresses + climbing trees and the like, may I suggest that the girl always wear shorts under her dress; it worked for my Little Girl).
Tell them they’re beautiful and clever as much as you can.
My 2 cents? Never let them near boys!
Looking back over my own upbringing, if I could change just one thing about how my mother did it, this would be it. Be a parent – don’t make me your friend instead. I can find plenty of friends for myself.
i reckon you’ll be very fine parents. bedtime stories are probably one of the nicest aspects – for all parties. want any books or recommendations? xxx
Congratulations to you and P! Only advice I have is listen to them, love them and give them room to fail so they can grow.
Oh, argh, must keep up! Girls! How exciting. Um, looks like you’ve got all the advice you need. Re the Disney princess thing, it may well be inevitable. If they insist that everything has got to be pink, just roll with it, they WILL grow out of it. But don’t let them buy into the whole idea of handsome princes rescuing them, make sure you find some kick-ass princess role models to go with the (frankly quite frightening) disney ones.
How exciting! I hope this works out for you. My advice, having 3 sisters, I feel qualified is this:
girls can be vicious to each other. I personally think it might literally be a developmental necessity. My advice would be: don’t ignore but don’t over emphasize it.
Girls become vicious women when they realize their words are weapons.
Don’t let any of these dismal “down the road” type items bother you. Having a daughter is a beautiful, bewildering experience. My husband is thoroughly enjoying his stepdaughter. At 4 years old, Peep is his biggest fan. I don’t think there’s anything quite like having little girls for Daddies. Such blessings!
Good luck and many prayers!
I cannot agree with KE more… I would also add: teach them to walk with their heads held high, always. Teach them that they can do anything they desire themselves and that there is no substitute for being able to support yourself independently cos then they can go to any relationship for the right reasons.
Always listen understandingly no matter how trivial you may feel that some insult or slight against them has been, because I remember how all of those things sting like crazy when you’re little or young. Even so, teach them to respond with grace and dignity.
All this will come to you naturally, I’m sure. Enjoy the ride!!
Are they close in age? If so, they’re likely to be friends with each other – particularly if they spend a lot of time together. If such is the case, the only problems you’ll have will be figuring out how to keep them from ganging up on you and what to do about the strange bellowing stutter you’ve developed resulting from their inexplicable intermittent hearing loss: “Stop, I said Stop…. really, you must…. someone is going to get hurt! Stop jump – STOP JUMPING – I MEAN IT – STOP JUMPING ON THE CHAIR RIGHT NOW!” or “I said no acrobatics in the house – stop – stop – do not flip off the couch – the house is not a gymnasium. Do you see any mats on the floor? Stop! No! Don’t use the footstool as a springboard – stop! Sstt – whoa! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!” Oh! And whatever you do – delay the introduction to Disney and, really, any other “children’s” shows for as long as possible – or, better yet, forever!
Heh….Girls..well….they are insanely complex little beings…. I am in constant awe of the deep thoughts that come from my girl..that then switch to wanting to be a princess or the next Hannah Montana..
There are so many moments that I am totally at a loss for words.
But it is so much fun…
And yay by the way..been out of the loop!!
Hmm. Just saw this post. I recently wrote about having a bit of trouble myself raising two girls. It’s hard to do, but you need to get used to all the tears. Good luck!
My advice on raising girls:
http://www.halushki.com/2009/11/wordless-wednesday.html
🙂