How Tenuous?

tenuous07 

Here are the rules of the game: You have to come up with a tenuous connection to a celebrity. The cheesier or weirder the celebrity the more points you get. The more tenuous (or weirder) the connection the better too (although there is a cut-off point – seeing them on television does not count, nor does merely living in the same country).

Last years winners were:

(1) The Prestigious UK Award:

Norah: “I once snogged a guy whose gran knows Jon BonJovi’s mum”

(2) The Equally Prestigious International Award:

Jen: “Sean Penn cried in front of my mum about what a bitch Madonna was”

You cannot use a connection that you have entered before. For the bibulous amongst you the prize is plonk. For the others (or at your discretion) it will be something that has fallen off the back of a truck headed for Amazon.com.

Place your entries by leaving comments. The winners will be decided Nigerian Election stylee: there will be a vote but then I will steal the ballot boxes.

Good luck!

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106 thoughts on “How Tenuous?”

  1. Um … Douglas Hurd once played table tennis on our balcony? I had to go and fetch the balls when they got knocked over the parapet. Which happened a lot. Curiously, Douglas didn’t lose when he played his junior staff, despite a slightly wayward serve.

  2. My mother’s brother’s wife went to school with Meredith McRae and arranged for Gordon, Meredith’s famous da, to sing at their wedding…before I was born…long before Gordon died…
    I do believe that beats Pete.
    So there.

  3. My dad got me David Soul’s autograph.
    My aunt is the niece of Tommy Hunter (Canadian!)
    A husband of a friend of my mom used to deliver papers to Sean Connery’s house in Scotland!
    A friend of a friend is the boyfriend of the director of Chicago and Dreamgirls.
    I went to a party at Sir Ian McKellans house through the above!

    there is more…

  5. Trailing Spouse: I’d no idea ships could wear furs!

    And Pete: A raining jacket? Really!

    The things that happen overseas…

  7. My mother was on a date in the early 1950s with Roger Miller (think King of the Road song) . He put her on a roller coaster 17 times in a row until she puked.

    I almost toppled Bill Murray on a street while jaywalking in Cambridge (MA, USA).

  8. Ooh, almost forgot this one:

    My fiance’s mother’s or father’s cousin worked for Weird Al Yankovich. One time he ate dinner at their house randomly.

  9. 1. When my mother was pregnant my parents lived next door to Richard Branson’s sister. My dad liked her name and wanted to give it to me but my mother said no.

    2. As a toddler, I used to play with a boy who later went on to become the milky bar kid.

    3. When I was nine I met motley crue on a Swiss mountain. They took photos of me and my mate (not those kind of photos).

    4. When I worked for a homeless centre one of the homeless blokes had been the best man at one of the rolling stones’ wedding. He had photos to prove it.

    I have lived a life of celebrity.

  10. My sister’s other half sat drinking whisky with Ron Wood in some US aiport lounge a few years back. They both got pissed and RW gave soh a silver dollar for his baby daughter. Soh nicked the whisky glass and kept it proudly unwashed on a high shelf at home, so that he could gaze at it knowing that Ron Wood’s lip-prints were on the glass.
    .
    .
    Um.
    .
    .
    Weeeeeell, they should’ve told me before I helped wash up after one of their parties.

  11. Oh – and my sis-with-the-antique-shop found, in a job-lot of furnishing fabric she acquires cheaply from some place ooop north, a piece that was clearly labelled ‘Oprah Winfrey’s loose-covers’.
    It was bright orange and rather horrid.

  12. My sister went to school with Helena Bonham-Carter.

    Hmm …

    My sister was (probably) the last person to get an autograph from Agatha Christie, who passed away a few weeks later. I recall some discussions within the family as to whether it should be kept but in the end it was agreed to go ahead as originally planned and auction it at her school’s fund-raising dinner (different school to above). It raised less than £20.

    Hmmm …

    One that involves me.

    I was there when my sister drew an ugly look from Andrew Lloyd-Webber (what other kind is there?). My sister and some of her friends, with me in tow, were taken to Evita during its first west-end run – Elaine Paige, David Essex – for her birthday treat. As an additional birthday present, my mother decided to buy her the soundtrack during the interval. This involved finding an usherette and then shouting across 10 rows an inquiry as to whether my sister wanted the album or the cassette. My sister shouted back for her to get the album because we could always tape it later.

    /notmysistersblog

    I sat next to Nick Faldo on a flight from Canada to London in the late 70’s. In economy class. I think he’d only recently turned professional.

    Kim Wilde made me steal! In the early 80’s I was in an Oxfam shop in the west end and saw Kim Wilde – post Kids in America but pre View from a Bridge IIRC – and I followed her out but lost her in the crowds on Oxford Street. I then realised I’d stolen a book from a charity shop.

    I was in Charing Cross hospital waiting for an x-ray and, although it was my turn next, another patient was brought in and scanned before me. Fair enough, she was on life support and I guess her need was more urgent than mine. Turned out to be Laura Sadler of Holby City.

  13. 1. My downstair’s neighbour’s boyfriend’s cousin is in Coldplay
    2. My brother-in-law’s sister’s husband’s sister was in This Life
    3. I had dinner with Jennifer Rush, who also ironed my sister’s shirt when she was organizing a charity do.

    Do I win £5?

  14. You want obscure??? I have obscure….. when I was living in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan I was the RN to one of the members of STOMP who were performing in our city. She had ruptured her appendix. Also, as a nurse on that same ward, one of my patients was the father of the guy who makes Dingwall bass guitars

  15. Ooh, hello.

    Firstly, some things of note :
    (a) Why did no-one inform me of this prior to?
    (b) I am moderately surprised that only Sweatpantsmom knew Harrison Ford is married to his own brother. I would’ve thought that the tabloids would’ve been all over that like Lynx on a virgin.

    Secondly, my tenuous celebrity links (please note that I cannot guarantee that some of the following will not be made up) :
    (i) I had a dream in which I was urinating next to Peter O’Toole.
    (ii) I planned to go busking with a friend’s buddy (who also happened to be the sister of someone who my brother was acquainted with), but we never got past the first rehearsal. Years later, I saw her in the 2003 production of Henry VIII, with Ray Winstone as the happy-go-lucky yet misunderstood wife slayer.
    (iii) Whilst travelling on a train, Caroline Quentin admitted to the person sitting next to her that she quite fancied a fellow passenger, who happened to be my brother. This information was relayed to him, shortly before he was sick into a cup through alcohol misuse.
    (iv) The drummer from Coldplay used to be scared of me, because I once sang ‘You Are My Sunshine’ two inches from his face whilst he was stoned.
    (v) My old flatmate once spoke to David A. Stewart on the phone; yet neglected to ask what the ‘A’ stands for.

    I think there are more, but I might hedge my bets by saving them for next year’s bout.

  16. ooh! one more real quick!

    My mom was in Central Park on a walk sometime around 1995 and the late JFK, jr. plowed into her as they both reached an intersection at the same time and he was rounding the corner quite fast on his roller blades. My mom said she wouldn’t have minded a repeat of that.

  17. 1. My friend was taught home economics by Delia Smith at school.
    2. Chris Eubank tried to negotiate a discount in a shop where another friend worked. He came out of the boss’ office saying ‘That’s one fight I didn’t win’.
    3. I was in a pub quiz team with someone who made a film with Nicole Kidman, but didn’t meet her – how tenuous is that?

  19. Sorry … I got that last one wrong – it was my friend’s cousin that went out with Kylie.

    I’m going now.

  20. Oooh oooh oooh!
    At a charity match at Wentworth golf course some years ago I had to hold a girl’s hair out of the way as she threw up because was laughing so much at Russ Abbott’s hair implants as he bent down to sign a form. She said his head looked like a ‘little forestry commission plantation. But stumpier.’

  21. 1) I went to the same school as Chuck Botfield (Rockin’ Berries), Christine Perfect (Christine McVie – Chicken Shack/Fleetwood Mac) and members of the Hollies. I missed them all by a few years though.

    2) In 1966 I sat in Colin (Carl Wayne) Tooley’s front room, while the newly-formed group ‘The Move’ played ‘Flowers in the Rain’ for the first time.

  23. We know Liam Neeson’s mum.
    We’re related to Kate o’ Mara – no, really.
    My sister was booked to sing at Sheffield Utd’s Christmas ‘do.
    Our cousin’s great grandmother was in a car crash with Sammy Davis Jr, in which he famously lost his left eye.

    All the above are true.

  27. I have crushed a car that used to belong to British sax hero Courtney Pine.

    And why oh why, dear Pog, does ‘Oprah Winfrey’s loose-covers’ sound to me like either a really bad uni-band or an extremely vulgar euphemism?

  28. oh so late on the band wagon this time but I once had breakfast with Greg Louganis’s ex lover in Cape Town! We shared a table with a real monk. I asked him what he wore under his habit.

    I was young.
    I didn’t know he was a real monk.

  29. I once walked past Stephen Baldwin in Carousel Mall, Syracuse, NY. He had the tiniest posse ever, and he was sitting, ever so cool, on the edge of one of the myriad garish fountains.

  31. Oh! Oh!

    I once dated a guy whose friend played softball with Amee Mann and the friend hit a line drive to her shin and she had to get carried off the field.

  33. This is fun let me see

    1) my mum nursed David Jones’ (from the monkees) sister

    2) my dad sold Noel Edmunds House

    3) I sat next to a guy on a plane who was a family friend of the Danish princess who came from Australia

    4) My cousins’ husband’s brother is a butler at Buckingham palace

    5) I know the vicar who was in charge of guarding Princess Diana’s body until the funeral

  35. am i too late?

    i used to work with someone who shagged bobby davro (and only last year, i might add).

    my nan’s second cousins were the beverley sisters (not THAT’s tenuous – makes them my second cousins twice removed or something).

    and my friend’s sister met robbie williams in a bar in chicago, so technically i’ve met robbie williams. honest.

  37. I once got on to (and then thrown off) a stage on which Steve Buscemi and Chrissie Hynde were singing karaoke. They didn’t seem to mind, though, so I got a few bars of The Midnight Hour in.

  38. Wait! This is a new one and it’s my most tenuous entry, I believe:

    My coworker’s cousin’s fiance’s cousin is marrying Usher.

  39. I’ve remembered another one! My ex-husband’s brother trained to be a chef with Jamie Oliver. He said he was a jumped up little shit then too.

  40. Time for one last one?

    My wife’s sister’s workmate’s husband’s best man was Tim Rodber, the England rugby player. Tenuous enough?

    The wedding photos were hilarious – at 6′ 7″ tall, he towered over everyone else, especially since the groom was about 5′ 4″ and his wife 5′ 2″.

    The funniest part was when ‘Gums’ [his school nickname apparently, due to lack of front teeth even at that age] had to lead, as is tradition, the mother of the bride arm-in-arm back down the aisle. A middle-aged Thai lady, she was slightly more than a shade under five feet tall. I thought his spine might snap from the angle at which he attempted to walk…

    I guess it would actually have made it a funny story if it had I suppose…*sigh*

    Can we just pretend it did…?

  41. Okay – what about this?

    When I was a wee cute blond toddler I lived in a small village in Surrey (cricket on the green, Red Lion pub – that kind of village) and we had a few traditions like every year some mother would make her husband or son dress up as Father Christmas. He would then bring a horse and hay filled cart into the village and we would go for a night hayride and then sit on Santa’s knee and tell him our innocent wishes.
    Santa the year I was 4? Richard Branson.

  42. My ex-wife was working in a deli in South Moulton Street (Mother Applebaum’s) as a waitress and once served Paul Simon.

    Once I was walking along the Embankment somewhat distracted and accidentally jostled ex-Prime Minister Harold Wilson who was deep in conversation with a companion. We both apologised in true English fashion.

    As a teenager I once attempted to date Christine Keeler, a few months before she became famous. She’d been telling me of her invitations to Cliveden etc. & called for a boat to take us back across the river to her aunt’s house. We had afternoon tea and pleasant conversation.

    The next day I called round to suggest the date. She said she would be spending the evening washing her hair. My attempt to make an honest woman of her thus foiled, she went on to bring down Harold Macmillan’s government.

  44. I’d forgotten all about this one!
    Many moons (years) ago, I was doing some freelance work for a company in Holborn. The woman in charge of the project told me in conversation one day that her brother was/used to be drummer with The Cure.
    A decade or so passed.
    A friend moved to the west of England, and we kept in contact via email. I asked him casually how he was doing making new friends. He ran through a list of people he’d met, and then mentioned that he’d had dinner with a really nice couple and the guy (by the name of Boris, if I recall) used to be the drummer with The Cure. I mentioned the sister’s name and next time my friend met Boris he mentioned it and sure enough – ’twas the very woman.
    So I’ve met The Cure’s ex-drummer Boris’s sister!

  45. My dad’s uncle’s wife’s sister’s son was in a 1970s Scottish band called SLIK which also had Midge Ure in it.
    Also, Craig Reid one half of the Proclaimers duo once held out his arms to lift me up on stage to get a picture taken with them … I didn’t notice him and walked round the stage to the stairs ….. groan! They’re really cute up close – honest!
    And finally, I was at a recording of the McCoist and McCauley show once when amongs the guests was David Essex. I waited outside to get his autograph but when he came out (knowing there was the one fan waiting for him) I was in the loo having held it in for two hours….I couldn’t stop when the PR girl came running in to tell me he was outside and then ran out to get him only to find that my friend had told him I was ON the toilet.. how bloody embarassing, he’ll never fancy me now!!!

  46. Yet another!

    When I was doing a radio course at Goldsmith’s College in London, my lecturer was a chap called Tim Crook, who in addition to working at the college also worked at the now-defunct LBC radio station.

    Tim liked to involve students in real studio time, and so one day a couple of us were invited to assist in the recording of a radio play at LBC. I manned the spool-to-spool recorder in the recording booth (it was a while ago, you can tell) and the actors filed into the studio and placed themselves down at their mikes. Then I realised that one of them was Toyah Wilcox. I checked it was her with Tim (who was running the mixer desk next to me) and he confirmed that it was indeed her.

    So I didn’t get to meet her (I remained stranded on the other side of the glass), and the tenuous link becomes:

    ‘my old lecturer knew a studio manager who knew a radio script writer who knew an agent who had Toyah Wilcox on her books.’

    Pretty bleedin’ tenuous if you ask me…

  47. come on moobs – don’t keep us in suspense!
    i was just at a family party and discovered that my dad’s brother’s wifes’ sister’s son’s wife was in inspector linley once.

  49. Bez (Happy Mondays) once offered to buy me a drink.
    I’ve made Boris Becker a BLT.
    Suburban Mum- my friend was a catering college with Jamie Oliver. Small world?
    Orlando Blooms mum signed a picture of Orlando for me.
    I’ve worked in a kitchen with Heston Blumenthal.
    I’ve shared a croissant with Bill Granger.
    I once made Rick Stein a cup of tea.
    I have shared a Marks and Spencers children’s meal with Moira Stewart

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