Scene: The Social Worker is looking for evidence that we display the necessary competencies to become adoptive parents.
Social Worker: Do you get on well with your nephews?
M: Oh yes … the little tykes
SW: And have you developed a close bond with them?
P (intervening): Oh, he’s always touching the boys.
Er .. thanks for that …
I am being taught to snowboard by a tiny boy with a goatee.
Tiny Boy: Next we’ll do some jumps.
Moobs: No we won’t.
TB: It’ll be awesome.
M: I will not be jumping off anything at any point.
TB: Ok. It is up to you.
M: I know. I am grateful for the opportunity that you are affording me Tiny Boy with Goatee, but just so we are clear: no jumping for me.
TB: Cool so, like, after lunch we’ll go to the terrain park and do the jumps.
M: No. We will not. I am not going to be doing jumps.
TB: Well we can go to the terrain park and the others can do some jumps off the rails and boxes and you …
M: Yes?
TB: You can do some little jumps off the rollers.
M: I am really sorry but I do not seem to be making myself clear. Under NO circumstances will I be doing any kind of jumping on my snowboard. None. I am an overweight 42 year old lawyer. The terrain park is not my natural habitat.
TB: You are 42?
M: Yes.
TB: Hey, for 42 you are doing really well.
M: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Welcome to the world Oliver and Isabella my brand new nephew and niece!
There’s quite a bit we have to tell you about the world you’ve been born into but you’ll need a bit more sleep before we get to that. By the way Oliver, the survival of the line now falls to you. No pressure little one.