Fortuna's favoured daugher
Fortuna's favoured daughter

Proof today that there is no such thing as Karma. We were all due to head up to the school for the fete and “mini-olympics”. Just before blast off I heard P having a hoolie and the police siren “WAAAAAAH” of Little S trudging her way up to her bedroom. Our tiny delinquent had been caught throwing gravel at the paintwork of her mother’s beloved motor. She had wanted, she explained, to make the sound of rain.

P headed off to man a tombola stall and I was to follow once Little S had served her sentence. When I went up ten minutes later, Little S lay sleeping, her chest rising and falling, her arms stuck out as if she had been trying to flap her way clear of the ground. I thought it best to leave her.

After 30 minutes I roused her and she grouched her way to the car. “Carry me” she moaned when we arrived. At the entrance was a raffle stall. I bought 10 tickets and marked them with Little S’s name as P, who came over to meet us, had already bought 5 tickets and put them in Big S’s name.

Little S bumped around causing trouble in a modest way but, since we had managed to arrive as it was winding up, her opportunities were limited. “Be nice” said P “If you are not nice, nice things will not happen to you”. Little S looked grave.

Meanwhile, the head of the Parent’s Association was drawing the raffle for first prize: a Nintendo DS. “Little S from Nursery”. Little S was bemused as applause broke out and people patted her on the head. She was dragged to the stage, given her prize and shooed back to us. She promptly dropped the DS on the ground as it was interfering with her dogged consumption of Haribo. The second of the 6 prizes went to the woman who had sold us the tickets.

“And third prize goes to … Little S of Nursery … hang on hasn’t she won already?” We suddenly felt 300 pairs of parental eyes upon us. “Draw again” I shouted.

“Are you sure?”
“Yes, yes. Draw again.”

Little S chewed gummy sweets, oblivious. Fourth prize went to a delighted friend of Big S’s. “Fifth prize goes to … Little S of Nursery”. This time they did not wait for our invitation to re-draw. People began to gaze at this wonder child with a monopoly of luck. She, meanwhile, took Fortuna by the hand and dragged her off towards the swings in a little cloud of miscreance.

Average Rating: 4.4 out of 5 based on 222 user reviews.

20Sixers in the 5 minutes of sunshine we had

These are people I’m lucky to know.

Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 153 user reviews.

Lil S: “Dad”
Me: “Yes?”
Lil S: “You can touch my belly button and mummy can touch my bellybutton and me can touch my bellybutton but [Big S] is not allowed.”

Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 269 user reviews.