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A number of you have been kind (or nosey) enough to ask for a picture of our new place. I have uploaded to the other place a short vid of what it looked like a week ago: click here.

As the tension builds, the time has come to explain the rules. Each person is allowed only one entry. If you have submitted more than one, I have chosen the entry I like best. If you disagree with my selection feel free to email me. To assist with administration, please include “IGNORE THIS” in the subject line of your email. Anyone is free to vote. You can pressgang your friends, relatives and those over whom you have some dark sway into voting for you. You can vote for yourself, if you can bear the shame. You get TWO VOTES. One for the UK award and one for the International one.

In order to vote leave a comment to this message identifying your preferred candidates. If you live in Florida please note that this computerised voting is beyond you and you really should have learned your lesson by now – move on.

All votes must be in by 10 June 2007. I solemnly undertake to take your votes into account in some (perhaps not immediately obvious) way in selecting the winners of our two prizes.

And now, as the searchlights sweep the sky and another celebrity trips on her dress and has her stiches tear, here are the nominations:

The Prestigious UK Tenuous Connection Award

1. Beardy Rick for: “My Mum works with the very deep and purple Ian Gillan’s godson” (surely “devilson” – Ed)
2. Floaty Katja for: “My friend Pete’s friend’s band supported lovable druggamuffin Pete Doherty”
3. CJ for: “I once worked with a girl who had a go on Pink Floyd’s drumkit”
4. Suburban Mum for: “I caught celebrity Chef and Hairstyle Gary Rhodes getting a takeaway Pizza in Orpington”
5. Nutty Mummy for: “David Essex stole my Dad’s girlfriend at school”
6. Drunken Spaniel for: “‘Interesting’ Steve Davis failed to put money in my collecting tin”.
7. Rivergirlie for: “I once made scrambled eggs for Viola, Duchess of Westminster”
8. Geepeemum for: “I played the flute whilst others swept up Take That’s unwanted gifts”
9. Mikeachim: “I knocked Clare Frisby over”
10. Jezzafuji for: “My wife’s friend’s friend’s husband fitted blinds in Sir Cliff Richard’s house”
11. Disgruntled Commuter for: “Douglas Hurd played table tennis on our balcony”
12. Pete for: “My dad impressed Lulu with an act of chilvary”
13. Pog for: “My sister once handled Oprah Winfrey’s loose covers”
14. Jag for: “Stalking Kim Wilde caused me inadvertently to shoplift”
15. Kate for: “Big Daddy broke my mum’s sofa”
16. Subideal for: “Caroline Quentin fancied my brother”
17. Lilo for: “My pub quiz teammate shared celluloid with Nicole Kidman”
18. Lucy Chintz for: “My cousin’s great grandmother was in the car crash with Sammy Davis Jr when lost his left eye”
19. Urban Chick for: “My friend was a doctor of the brother of the last Emperor of China”
20. Jef for: “I crushed Courtney Pine’s car”
21. Lia for: “I had breakfast with Greg Louganis’ former lover”
22. Surly Girl for: “I used to work with someone who shagged Bobby Davro”
23. 100 Words for: “I performed karaoke with Chrissie Hynde and Steve Buscemi”
24. Bec for: “As a 4 year old, I sat on Richard Branson’s knee”
25. Yves for: “I had tea and chat with Christine Keeler”
26. Starcorner for: “I kept David Essex waiting while I had a wee”
27. Minks for: “I made Boris Becker a BLT”
28. Rachie for: “Leslie Crowther once shoved my Mum out of the way”
29. Lesley for: “My brother smoked Princess Anne’s fish”

The Equally Prestigious International Award

1. The Queen for: “My colleague’s sister was Brad Pitt’s squeeze”
2. The Cronz for: “My sister had larks with Billy Idol’s backstage crew” 
3. Meva for: “My Great Aunt narrowly escaped being painted in the nude by Norman Lindsay”
4. Emma for: “My fellow college student had been at school with Kate Moss”
5. Marmite Breath for: “My Dad had Phil Collins’s life in his hands”
6. Hev for: “I am in a saliva chain with Kim Wilde”
7. OTJ for: “REM’s Mike Mills was my midnight pedicurist”
8. Pendullum for: “My sister in law had her alcoholic advances spurned by Thom Yorke”
9. Claudia for: “I went to High School with the Nestle Crunch Girl”
10. Lady Sweat of Pants for: “Harrison Ford’s brother was at my wedding”
11. Shannon for: “I exchanged a glance with John Travolta between courses in Orlando”
12. Flutter for: “I once got a hamburger for Ricky Martin”
13. Jozet for: “I had my baby bump rubbed by a hobbit to be”
14. Wimmindance: “My friend once broke Bono’s fall”
15. Topetay for: “My Mum went to school with Aaron Spelling”
16. Trailing Spouse for: “My cousin’s ex-boyfriend once served drinks to Prince Andrew whilst wearing only furs”
17. Hollly for: “My Cousin-in-law to be worked for Weird Al Yankovich”
18. Crunchycarpets for: “My Mum’s friend’s husband used to deliver newspapers to Sir Sean Connery”
19. Andreia for: “Roger Miller hurled my mum around on a rollercoaster until she hurled”
20. Zoe for: “I was a photographed by Motley Crue”
21. Iris for: “I was RN to one of the members of STOMP when they visited Saskatoon”
22. Mumblings from the Alps for: “I once went out with a girl who’d been out with Mike Oldfield’s drummer”
23. Swisslil for: “I know Daniel Bedingfield’s godmother”
24. Kelly for: “I found Stephen Baldwin sat by a fountain in a shopping mall”
25. Caro for: “My Dad sold Noel Edmonds’s House”
26. Gorillabuns for: “One of my best friends used to drum for the Flaming Lips”

Penultimately, I have included links to the blogs of those entrants who provided their url with their entry simply because so many of them are fantastic (in a jealous rage inducing sort of way). Try a few.

Finally, if you have been nominated you can display this image on your site as a way of assisting your gerrymandering:

 

We have finally completed our house move (of which more later) and I am now almost finished typing the tenuous connections nominations (of which more imminently) but I thought I would share with you something I saw in the bookshop.

I was in W H Smith’s looking for the Pope’s new book when I came across a new section. Jammed betweeen “Millitary History” and “General Interest” was “Tragic Life Stories”. A whole new genre has arisen while I was distracted by the long cartoon legs on the covers of the Chick Lit books. Just to add to the poignancy, the section was marked with a sign saying “Two for the Price of One!”