You are nominated

In the perverse and arbitrary way in which I prefer to operate I have set about summarising the entries. I have divided them into the Prestigious UK Award (for those living here) and the Equally Prestigious International Award. I have allowed only one entry per person and have chosen the one I think is the best. Vote in the comments section and I will consider whether or not to take your puny democratic will into account. I will send a bottle of alcoholic fluid to each of the winners. A short tear-filled speech is desirable though not compulsory from the victor or victrix.

Any nominee who feels that their self-esteem would be in the least improved by it should feel free to display their nominee image on their blog:

The Prestigious UK Award Nominees 2006

Beardy Rick: “Jimmy Hill narrowly escaped death at my father’s hands”

Jef: “Duncan Goodhew watched me drown”

Amphib: “A colleague’s osteopath manipulates Yasmin Le Bon”

Gamba: “I delivered balloons to Sir Cliff Richard”

Bec: “My uncle is quondam chauffeur to Phil Collins”

Spaniel: “I once got in Gary Barlow’s way”

AmyC: “My cousin’s cousin is Danny Mills”

Norah: “I once snogged a guy whose gran knows Jon BonJovi’s mum”

Tripswitch: “I used to know Posh Spice’s sister’s best friend”

Funman: “Tina Turner once had a cup of tea in my house; but I wasn’t there”

Floaty: “My Dad has twice consumed alchohol in the same pub as Jethro”Â

Lia: “Richard E Grant and I listened to someone talk about their vagina”

Pog: “Lord Sebastian Coe sprayed me with sweat in a gym”

Lauren: “My best friend at school went to church with Mick Jagger’s cousin”

The Equally Prestigious International Award Nominees 2006

Banana: “My friend witnessed President Bush’s daughter get surprised on the loo”

BroLo: “I minded the door while a colleague met Sting”

Hev: “My husband’s Mum lived in the road where Ruth Madoc used to live”

Menace: “A former friend’s mum used to babysit Rick Astley”

Antonio: “I let Victoria Jackson pee first”

Jen: “Sean Penn cried in front of my mum about what a bitch Madonna was”

Moochy: “My Mum’s colleagues is the aunt of a member of the Artful Dodger”

Kevin: “I saw Natalie Cole’s buttcrack”

Catherine: “My dad met Liberace in a shopping mall”

Marsha: “My gynaecologist knows Lisa Kudrow’s lady parts as well asÂ they know mine”

Sambucca: “David Bellamy and I sat around the same yak dung fire in Nepal”

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It’s that time again.

Here are the rules to my favourite game. It is called “Tenuous Connections”. You have to come up with a tenuous connection to a celebrity. The cheesier or weirder the celebrity the more points you get. The more tenuous (or weirder) the connection the better too (although there is a cut-off point – seeing them on television does not count, nor, please note Heather, does living in the same country).

Some game winning past entries (none of them mine):

(1)Â Â My Dad once shared a hotel bed with Roy Hattersley;
(2)Â Â My sister went out with the brother of the saxaphone player in Spandau Ballet.
(3)Â Â Thom Yorke babysat for us once in Cornwall.

Those of you who have entered before cannot rely on an entry used before (i.e. no rodent, Norah). I am easily influenced so it is worth commenting on other people’s entires in the hope of persuading me to score them up or down.

Who’ll be first?

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