Author: Moobs

We have finally completed our house move (of which more later) and I am now almost finished typing the tenuous connections nominations (of which more imminently) but I thought I would share with you something I saw in the bookshop.

I was in W H Smith’s looking for the Pope’s new book when I came across a new section. Jammed betweeen “Millitary History” and “General Interest” was “Tragic Life Stories”. A whole new genre has arisen while I was distracted by the long cartoon legs on the covers of the Chick Lit books. Just to add to the poignancy, the section was marked with a sign saying “Two for the Price of One!”

 

Here are the rules of the game: You have to come up with a tenuous connection to a celebrity. The cheesier or weirder the celebrity the more points you get. The more tenuous (or weirder) the connection the better too (although there is a cut-off point – seeing them on television does not count, nor does merely living in the same country).

Last years winners were:

(1) The Prestigious UK Award:

Norah: “I once snogged a guy whose gran knows Jon BonJovi’s mum”

(2) The Equally Prestigious International Award:

Jen: “Sean Penn cried in front of my mum about what a bitch Madonna was”

You cannot use a connection that you have entered before. For the bibulous amongst you the prize is plonk. For the others (or at your discretion) it will be something that has fallen off the back of a truck headed for Amazon.com.

Place your entries by leaving comments. The winners will be decided Nigerian Election stylee: there will be a vote but then I will steal the ballot boxes.

Good luck!

In a kafkaesque metamorphosis I have woken up as someone else. The body I now inhabit is that of a 70 year old. It took me 15 minutes to get out of bed, 15 minutes to get downstairs and the exercise of bending over to pick up my mail had ultimately to be abandoned. I am walking stooped over and mumbling constantly under my breath about aches and pains.

Disturbingly, this physical transformation appears to have been accompanied by a psychological one. I find myself craving cups of tea, unable to work the TV remote control and becoming firmly convinced that children these days are insufficiently disciplined.

I’m not yet sure whether or not to expect incontinence – I’ll keep you posted once “Meals on Wheels” has been.