Tenuous Connections: The Nominees

As the tension builds, the time has come to explain the rules. Each person is allowed only one entry. If you have submitted more than one, I have chosen the entry I like best. If you disagree with my selection feel free to email me. To assist with administration, please include “IGNORE THIS” in the subject line of your email. Anyone is free to vote. You can pressgang your friends, relatives and those over whom you have some dark sway into voting for you. You can vote for yourself, if you can bear the shame. You get TWO VOTES. One for the UK award and one for the International one.

In order to vote leave a comment to this message identifying your preferred candidates. If you live in Florida please note that this computerised voting is beyond you and you really should have learned your lesson by now – move on.

All votes must be in by 10 June 2007. I solemnly undertake to take your votes into account in some (perhaps not immediately obvious) way in selecting the winners of our two prizes.

And now, as the searchlights sweep the sky and another celebrity trips on her dress and has her stiches tear, here are the nominations:

The Prestigious UK Tenuous Connection Award

  1. Beardy Rick for: “My Mum works with the very deep and purple Ian Gillan’s godson” (surely “devilson” – Ed)
  2. Floaty Katja for: “My friend Pete’s friend’s band supported lovable druggamuffin Pete Doherty”
  3. CJ for: “I once worked with a girl who had a go on Pink Floyd’s drumkit”
  4. Suburban Mum for: “I caught celebrity Chef and Hairstyle Gary Rhodes getting a takeaway Pizza in Orpington”
  5. Nutty Mummy for: “David Essex stole my Dad’s girlfriend at school”
  6. Drunken Spaniel for: “‘Interesting’ Steve Davis failed to put money in my collecting tin”.
  7. Rivergirlie for: “I once made scrambled eggs for Viola, Duchess of Westminster”
  8. Geepeemum for: “I played the flute whilst others swept up Take That’s unwanted gifts”
  9. Mikeachim: “I knocked Clare Frisby over”
  10. Jezzafuji for: “My wife’s friend’s friend’s husband fitted blinds in Sir Cliff Richard’s house”
  11. Disgruntled Commuter for: “Douglas Hurd played table tennis on our balcony”
  12. Pete for: “My dad impressed Lulu with an act of chilvary”
  13. Pog for: “My sister once handled Oprah Winfrey’s loose covers”
  14. Jag for: “Stalking Kim Wilde caused me inadvertently to shoplift”
  15. Kate for: “Big Daddy broke my mum’s sofa”
  16. Subideal for: “Caroline Quentin fancied my brother”
  17. Lilo for: “My pub quiz teammate shared celluloid with Nicole Kidman”
  18. Lucy Chintz for: “My cousin’s great grandmother was in the car crash with Sammy Davis Jr when lost his left eye”
  19. Urban Chick for: “My friend was a doctor of the brother of the last Emperor of China”
  20. Jef for: “I crushed Courtney Pine’s car”
  21. Lia for: “I had breakfast with Greg Louganis’ former lover”
  22. Surly Girl for: “I used to work with someone who shagged Bobby Davro”
  23. 100 Words for: “I performed karaoke with Chrissie Hynde and Steve Buscemi”
  24. Bec for: “As a 4 year old, I sat on Richard Branson’s knee”
  25. Yves for: “I had tea and chat with Christine Keeler”
  26. Starcorner for: “I kept David Essex waiting while I had a wee”
  27. Minks for: “I made Boris Becker a BLT”
  28. Rachie for: “Leslie Crowther once shoved my Mum out of the way”
  29. Lesley for: “My brother smoked Princess Anne’s fish”

The Equally Prestigious International Award

  1. The Queen for: “My colleague’s sister was Brad Pitt’s squeeze”
  2. The Cronz for: “My sister had larks with Billy Idol’s backstage crew” 
  3. Meva for: “My Great Aunt narrowly escaped being painted in the nude by Norman Lindsay”
  4. Emma for: “My fellow college student had been at school with Kate Moss”
  5. Marmite Breath for: “My Dad had Phil Collins’s life in his hands”
  6. Hev for: “I am in a saliva chain with Kim Wilde”
  7. OTJ for: “REM’s Mike Mills was my midnight pedicurist”
  8. Pendullum for: “My sister in law had her alcoholic advances spurned by Thom Yorke”
  9. Claudia for: “I went to High School with the Nestle Crunch Girl”
  10. Lady Sweat of Pants for: “Harrison Ford’s brother was at my wedding”
  11. Shannon for: “I exchanged a glance with John Travolta between courses in Orlando”
  12. Flutter for: “I once got a hamburger for Ricky Martin”
  13. Jozet for: “I had my baby bump rubbed by a hobbit to be”
  14. Wimmindance: “My friend once broke Bono’s fall”
  15. Topetay for: “My Mum went to school with Aaron Spelling”
  16. Trailing Spouse for: “My cousin’s ex-boyfriend once served drinks to Prince Andrew whilst wearing only furs”
  17. Hollly for: “My Cousin-in-law to be worked for Weird Al Yankovich”
  18. Crunchycarpets for: “My Mum’s friend’s husband used to deliver newspapers to Sir Sean Connery”
  19. Andreia for: “Roger Miller hurled my mum around on a rollercoaster until she hurled”
  20. Zoe for: “I was a photographed by Motley Crue”
  21. Iris for: “I was RN to one of the members of STOMP when they visited Saskatoon”
  22. Mumblings from the Alps for: “I once went out with a girl who’d been out with Mike Oldfield’s drummer”
  23. Swisslil for: “I know Daniel Bedingfield’s godmother”
  24. Kelly for: “I found Stephen Baldwin sat by a fountain in a shopping mall”
  25. Caro for: “My Dad sold Noel Edmonds’s House”
  26. Gorillabuns for: “One of my best friends used to drum for the Flaming Lips”

Penultimately, I have included links to the blogs of those entrants who provided their url with their entry simply because so many of them are fantastic (in a jealous rage inducing sort of way). Try a few.

Finally, if you have been nominated you can display this image on your site as a way of assisting your gerrymandering:

Nominee-button  

[ | | | - best price, fast delivery | ]

79 thoughts on “Tenuous Connections: The Nominees”

  1. It seems like a high standard this year. I think I’m inclined to pick Lucy and Sweatpants-mom as the top two, but there’s every chance I’ll change my mind next time I look at this. I don’t envy you having to pick the winner, Moobs.

  2. YD – I’ve been amazed. Yours is a really good one this year if I may say so. I had not expected quite so much royalty nor Leslie Crowther!

  3. Oh, GORILLA BUNS! I love the Flaming Lips. (And it wasn’t Michael Stipe – it was the OTHER Michael from R.E.M. – the goofy looking one with glasses.

  5. Starcorner and Sweatpantsmom for making David Essex do a little dance and a touch of glamour respectively.

  6. Pingback: Have You Seen My Camel? » Blog Archive » Tenuous Links

  9. sweatpants mom – because i love her and well, i can’t be so shallow as to vote for myself.

    100 a close second – while i’m all about making a fool of myself while singing, there isn’t enough alcohol in the world to color my judgement to get up and sing with the divine ms. hynde. hats off to you!

    and a little sidenote: my friend wrote half of “priest driven ambulance” without much credit to his name.

    fame is such a bitch.

  10. I think the criteria should be – if you saw that strap line on a magazine on a supermarket checkout would you find yourself compelled to read it? (not that I do such a thing, obv.) in which case Hev in the international category and Kate in the UK one …

  12. Ooh – it is very difficult this year, isn’t it?
    UK – 3, 6, 29 – purely on the basis of tenuousness – discounting direct contact.
    International – 3, 16, 22

  14. Oh man. Way too difficult to choose. I would like to point out that my nomination isn’t quite tenuous enough – it was in fact my friend Pete’s FRIEND’s band that supported Pete Doherty.

    That aside, I’m voting for Subideal and Sweatpantsmom. Brilliant.

  17. I vote The Cronz, purely because of the phrase “had larks with”. That said, I now think I should win for being so magnanimous.

  20. Fucken A!!!!

    Whoo hooo…

    What a list…I am boggled by some of these!
    I mean I have eaten in restaurants with starts…Colin Firth was beside me at Orso’s in LA once and I almost Hugged Chris Reeve when walking through a movie set…sigh..

    The Sean Connery one has cache though.
    Oh and I got hugged by Sir Ian McKellan too!

  22. Starcorner – Yes indeed. In fact as you already have one vote I think that wopuld put you into the provisional pole for the UK award

  23. That’s what I like to hear Moobs! I’ve shamefully promoted my nomination status over planet starcorner in the hope of getting votes from my (one) reader!!!!

  24. I’ll add a vote for Starcorner! (hope I’m not just your one reader, Star!!).
    David Essex was hunting round the Adelphi for my mum a few years back, kept missing her, shame lol

  25. Oh my god … these are all so awesome! I really don’t know where to begin to cast my ONE vote! I want to vote for several, each for a different reason. For instance, my great love for Phil Collins lures me toward the person whose dad saved (or at least did not terminate) Phil’s life. The one that made me laugh the hardest is Leslie Crowther pushing someone’s mother out of the way. Motley Crue taking someone’s picture is pretty funny as well. But if the defining characteristic of the award is the tenuousness of the connection combined with the weirdness of the celebrity, then there are some more obvious winners than the ones toward which I am inclined. I’ll have to give this a lot more thought when I get home and can concentrate on it. Tough, tough choices to make.

    I can’t say that it will influence which contender I choose for my vote, but this American would like clarification on some UK-speak: does “had a go” mean “had sex” or “went to the bathroom?” In other words, did the girl have sex on the drumkit or pee on it? And I can only assume that to “have larks” is to have sex, but that’s only because I can’t imagine what else it could intend to convey. Can you enlighten me as to the definition of these phrases?

    Back with my vote later.
    Amanda

  26. Amanda – you get two votes – one for the UK award one for the International.

    I think “have a go” means, disappointingly, “used” and “have larks” means, in this case, playing flashlight tag. However, shagging Bobby Davro means having sex with him. I think you would need to know who Bobby Davro was to know just how appalling a prospect that would be. I dearly hope you do not know who he is and he remains a localised phenomenon like bird flu or ebola.

  27. Pingback: On A Limb with Claudia » Blog Archive » Vote for me!

  29. Rachie for the UK & Claudia for the International contingent.

    I wish I’d known sooner about this contest…Jon Cusack checked out my ass once in a NYC deli. True story.

  30. My vote goes to Kate for the Big Daddy tale.

    Although I am torn between that and CJ’s Pink Floyd’s drumkit which I think is most in keeping with the theme of the competition….

    With special mentions to Lesley and Hev.

  31. Oops; scanned the directions too quickly on my first read. TWO votes … hurrah! That settles it, then: I vote for the very rude encounter of the Leslie Crowther kind, as well as the Motley Crue photo. As grateful as I am to Marmite’s dad for sparing Phil Collins’ precious life, I just can’t get over the hilarious respective visuals that the other two conjure up as I consider them. The idea of a whole famous band taking one presumably unfamous person’s photograph makes me laugh. Especially because it’s Motley Crue. And the mother shove: priceless.

    Thanks for running this contest, Moobs! It is so much fun to follow! Can’t wait to find out the results.

    Amanda

  32. Ooh I’ve got a vote! How exciting! Um, I think I’m voting for Lucy Chintz for Sammy Davis Jnr’s left eye (although it was tough – I also liked the Courtney Pine one). And for the international category… Hollly, I think.

  33. My vote goes to;

    Urban Chick for: “My friend was a doctor of the brother of the last Emperor of China”

    Cos she said so.

    And because Emperors (of anything) are cool.

  34. I vote claudia cause she asked me to come and stuff the ballot boxes. Not an uncommon thing where I come from….. adn oh, yeah, because the Nestle Crunch Girl is every kid’s celebrity!

  35. Lucy, it has to be Lucy!

    And, I’m going to go with Caro for international, mainly because I like to think he sold it while Edmonds was still living there and that someone will evict edmonds, steal his fortune and leave him penniless roughly about now.

  36. Well I’m definitely voting for myself because most of my readers (ooh, all 3 of them) are also nominated and I’d like to think I had at least one vote. So Suburban Mum!!!!!! No 4!!!!

    And for the international category, the Suburban Jury gives 12 points to… Mumblings from the Alps (no. 22).

  37. Pingback: Vote for Me! « Suburban Mum
  38. Pingback: Suburban Mum

  41. My votes go to Rivergirlie and Crunchycarpets. Reasons: I don’t have any. Shame I missed the closing date because I would have won as I used to live next door to Frank Bruno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. Pingback: The Little Nut Tree Nominee-button «

  46. A nomination?!?! Woohoo!!! I’m so proud…!! I am currently displaying a badge on my blog and lovin it!!

    David Essex… what a cad eh?

    🙂

  47. I have to vote for Nutty Mummy. David Essex is a tenuous celebrity anyway, and the fact he stole her dads girlfriend is just wrong! No wonder he always looks so smug when he’s crooning some dire “music” on TV. I can just imagine him not listening to the interviewers questions as he remembers Lizzie Lizzikins (thats probably not her name) who he nicked from Mr. Mummy (again, probably not his name) back in the day.

    Bastard! Vote Mummy!

  48. For UK #18 Lady Chintz — for both tenuousness and historical value.
    For International #2 Cronz — for sheer tenuousness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.