Tenuous Connections: The Nominees

As the tension builds, the time has come to explain the rules. Each person is allowed only one entry. If you have submitted more than one, I have chosen the entry I like best. If you disagree with my selection feel free to email me. To assist with administration, please include “IGNORE THIS” in the subject line of your email. Anyone is free to vote. You can pressgang your friends, relatives and those over whom you have some dark sway into voting for you. You can vote for yourself, if you can bear the shame. You get TWO VOTES. One for the UK award and one for the International one.

In order to vote leave a comment to this message identifying your preferred candidates. If you live in Florida please note that this computerised voting is beyond you and you really should have learned your lesson by now – move on.

All votes must be in by 10 June 2007. I solemnly undertake to take your votes into account in some (perhaps not immediately obvious) way in selecting the winners of our two prizes.

And now, as the searchlights sweep the sky and another celebrity trips on her dress and has her stiches tear, here are the nominations:

The Prestigious UK Tenuous Connection Award

  1. Beardy Rick for: “My Mum works with the very deep and purple Ian Gillan’s godson” (surely “devilson” – Ed)
  2. Floaty Katja for: “My friend Pete’s friend’s band supported lovable druggamuffin Pete Doherty”
  3. CJ for: “I once worked with a girl who had a go on Pink Floyd’s drumkit”
  4. Suburban Mum for: “I caught celebrity Chef and Hairstyle Gary Rhodes getting a takeaway Pizza in Orpington”
  5. Nutty Mummy for: “David Essex stole my Dad’s girlfriend at school”
  6. Drunken Spaniel for: “‘Interesting’ Steve Davis failed to put money in my collecting tin”.
  7. Rivergirlie for: “I once made scrambled eggs for Viola, Duchess of Westminster”
  8. Geepeemum for: “I played the flute whilst others swept up Take That’s unwanted gifts”
  9. Mikeachim: “I knocked Clare Frisby over”
  10. Jezzafuji for: “My wife’s friend’s friend’s husband fitted blinds in Sir Cliff Richard’s house”
  11. Disgruntled Commuter for: “Douglas Hurd played table tennis on our balcony”
  12. Pete for: “My dad impressed Lulu with an act of chilvary”
  13. Pog for: “My sister once handled Oprah Winfrey’s loose covers”
  14. Jag for: “Stalking Kim Wilde caused me inadvertently to shoplift”
  15. Kate for: “Big Daddy broke my mum’s sofa”
  16. Subideal for: “Caroline Quentin fancied my brother”
  17. Lilo for: “My pub quiz teammate shared celluloid with Nicole Kidman”
  18. Lucy Chintz for: “My cousin’s great grandmother was in the car crash with Sammy Davis Jr when lost his left eye”
  19. Urban Chick for: “My friend was a doctor of the brother of the last Emperor of China”
  20. Jef for: “I crushed Courtney Pine’s car”
  21. Lia for: “I had breakfast with Greg Louganis’ former lover”
  22. Surly Girl for: “I used to work with someone who shagged Bobby Davro”
  23. 100 Words for: “I performed karaoke with Chrissie Hynde and Steve Buscemi”
  24. Bec for: “As a 4 year old, I sat on Richard Branson’s knee”
  25. Yves for: “I had tea and chat with Christine Keeler”
  26. Starcorner for: “I kept David Essex waiting while I had a wee”
  27. Minks for: “I made Boris Becker a BLT”
  28. Rachie for: “Leslie Crowther once shoved my Mum out of the way”
  29. Lesley for: “My brother smoked Princess Anne’s fish”

The Equally Prestigious International Award

  1. The Queen for: “My colleague’s sister was Brad Pitt’s squeeze”
  2. The Cronz for: “My sister had larks with Billy Idol’s backstage crew” 
  3. Meva for: “My Great Aunt narrowly escaped being painted in the nude by Norman Lindsay”
  4. Emma for: “My fellow college student had been at school with Kate Moss”
  5. Marmite Breath for: “My Dad had Phil Collins’s life in his hands”
  6. Hev for: “I am in a saliva chain with Kim Wilde”
  7. OTJ for: “REM’s Mike Mills was my midnight pedicurist”
  8. Pendullum for: “My sister in law had her alcoholic advances spurned by Thom Yorke”
  9. Claudia for: “I went to High School with the Nestle Crunch Girl”
  10. Lady Sweat of Pants for: “Harrison Ford’s brother was at my wedding”
  11. Shannon for: “I exchanged a glance with John Travolta between courses in Orlando”
  12. Flutter for: “I once got a hamburger for Ricky Martin”
  13. Jozet for: “I had my baby bump rubbed by a hobbit to be”
  14. Wimmindance: “My friend once broke Bono’s fall”
  15. Topetay for: “My Mum went to school with Aaron Spelling”
  16. Trailing Spouse for: “My cousin’s ex-boyfriend once served drinks to Prince Andrew whilst wearing only furs”
  17. Hollly for: “My Cousin-in-law to be worked for Weird Al Yankovich”
  18. Crunchycarpets for: “My Mum’s friend’s husband used to deliver newspapers to Sir Sean Connery”
  19. Andreia for: “Roger Miller hurled my mum around on a rollercoaster until she hurled”
  20. Zoe for: “I was a photographed by Motley Crue”
  21. Iris for: “I was RN to one of the members of STOMP when they visited Saskatoon”
  22. Mumblings from the Alps for: “I once went out with a girl who’d been out with Mike Oldfield’s drummer”
  23. Swisslil for: “I know Daniel Bedingfield’s godmother”
  24. Kelly for: “I found Stephen Baldwin sat by a fountain in a shopping mall”
  25. Caro for: “My Dad sold Noel Edmonds’s House”
  26. Gorillabuns for: “One of my best friends used to drum for the Flaming Lips”

Penultimately, I have included links to the blogs of those entrants who provided their url with their entry simply because so many of them are fantastic (in a jealous rage inducing sort of way). Try a few.

Finally, if you have been nominated you can display this image on your site as a way of assisting your gerrymandering:


79 thoughts on “Tenuous Connections: The Nominees”

  1. Damn it. I forgot to tell you that a best friend of mine was naked alone with John Oates and said that his penis looked like a pencil.

    When she told us, we barfed, and then we all laughed really hard.

    I hope that he can write with it.


  2. This is hilarious. Brushes with famous people? When I was young and stupid I dated Burt Ward (Robin of Batman and Robin). I met Michael Jackson before his nose job got totally whacked. He talked like a girl, y’all, but he was pretty nice, even if a bit weird. I also met Eric Estrada, Melissa Gilbert (Little House on the Prairie), Sally Struthers, Dick Clark, Adam West (yes, Batman – he’s really nice, btw), and even the original Catwoman, Julie Newmar (with her lover and her little boy). This all happened in the 80’s. I hardly ever think about it – ever. Omg, I’m kinda embarrassed.

  3. my vote goes to two non-bloggers:

    Jag for: “Stalking Kim Wilde caused me inadvertently to shoplift” (intriguing…)
    Wimmindance: “My friend once broke Bono’s fall” (this could be read on so many levels)

  4. I get a lot of your blog second hand through Claudia – it’s often amusing if not edifying… the thing is, if your event closes and she doesn’t get an award, I’ll hear about it for the entirety of the year… of course, if she recieves an award, I’ll also hear about it, but it’ll be much more pleasant. Can we work something out? Ever thought about a Rocky Mountain vacation? Do you enjoy world class fly fishing? Much can be arranged. If not, at least record my vote for her entry (Cash isn’t out of the question. What’s the exchange rate again?). – D.

  5. LOL, Moobs….but Eric was sitting there with his then girlfriend who looked all downtrodden and afraid to squeak. I later found out he was a bit of a bully. I should have remembered to tell you that I met the whole cast of Dynasty — I completely forgot about that. We gate-crashed a party (not totally ‘gate-crashed’, since I was invited in the back door by some model friends…it was a fashion show featuring perfume by either Crystal Carrington or was it Joan Collins? anyway…) at Robinsons in Bev Hills. I also met Phil Crosby — Bing Crosby’s son from his first wife…nice guy – very down to earth. I’m not embarrassed about these encounters; only that I dated that drip Burt (the tales I could tell, lol).

  6. Thank you kindly for the nomination – and I was so scraping the bottom of the fame barrel judging by how many tenuous connections I can’t make.

  7. Urban Chick, mostly for the far-flung nature of her tenuousity.
    Topetay, my larking little sister because I’m now ashamed to vote for myself in light of her selflessness.

  8. Ooh! I didn’t know about this until now!
    Right, my votes go to Jezzafuji for the UK (although CJ was *so* close), and Mumblings from the Alps for international (although I loved Hollly’s one too).
    Plus, I have a small storyette to add, if I may, which is almost a combination of two tales from above. Once upon a time, I went to a ball with my then girlfriend [she of whom we do not speak]. Courtney Pine (wot of cubic car fame) was playing said ball. As the band were setting up, my ladyfriend and I approached the man himself, and I asked “Can we have a photo, please?” Misinterpreting my request, Courtney took my camera from my hands, pointed it at us, and said “Where would you like it taken?” I love the idea of amassing a collection, and showing the pictures off with commentary such as “And this picture of me outside Boots was taken by the bloke from Haircut 100”.

  9. My UK vote goes to Geepeemum and my international vote goes to Jozet – both conjure up unusual images…
    I so wish I’d known about this competition – my dad was once very nearly shot in the bum by David Niven as he beat on a pheasant shoot…

  10. Urban Chick (Emperors ARE cool) and Caro (because I’d like to think her dad sold Noel Edmonds’ house while he was just out at the shops or something, you know – for a laugh)

  11. UK: Lesley, because “smoking someone’s fish” sounds like it should be a euphemism for shagging…

    International: Cronz because it’s so groupie-licious it’s extremely tenuous.

  12. Rachie for UK (of course).
    Gorillabuns for international – anyone that close to the ‘Lips has to be way cool (as an aside, I was once off me tits on ‘shrooms with Myles Vedder (Eddie Vedder’s cousin) one NYE. I strummed the band’s guitar!)

  13. Lia gets my vote. Not only for this story but for all her daily blogs. She can make a seeemingly non eventful day seem like an great adventure. Thanks for taking us all on the ride. I for one really enjoy it.

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