When P told me that the pregnancy test for this, our final, round of IVF would be on Easter Saturday I was secretly delighted. P felt things were going well: we had two embryos survive the thaw and all the indications from the scans were good.<\/p>\n
P is not religious so she thought my own cheerfulness was as a result of the feedback that she was giving me from her trips to the hospital. That was not the only reason for my good humour. The great feast of Easter is a feast of hope and, most importantly, of new life. I felt God was winking at me, nudging and hinting that finally he would do for us what he had done for Sarah: He would give us hope in our despair and the gift of new life.<\/p>\n
Of course God was not winking at me.\u00c2\u00a0Often the answer to even the most desperate\u00c2\u00a0prayers is\u00c2\u00a0“no”. P stood in front of me holding out the plastic stick on which God’s will was written\u00c2\u00a0in the form of a single blue line.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n
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