In the perverse and arbitrary way in which I prefer to operate I have set about summarising the entries. I have divided them into the Prestigious UK Award (for those living here) and the Equally Prestigious International Award. I have allowed only one entry per person and have chosen the one I think is the best. Vote in the comments section and I will consider whether or not to take your puny democratic will into account. I will send a bottle of alcoholic fluid to each of the winners. A short tear-filled speech is desirable though not compulsory from the victor or victrix.
Any nominee who feels that their self-esteem would be in the least improved by it should feel free to display their nominee image on their blog:
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The Prestigious UK Award Nominees 2006
Beardy Rick: “Jimmy Hill narrowly escaped death at my father’s hands”
Jef: “Duncan Goodhew watched me drown”
Amphib: “A colleague’s osteopath manipulates Yasmin Le Bon”
Gamba: “I delivered balloons to Sir Cliff Richard”
Bec: “My uncle is quondam chauffeur to Phil Collins”
Spaniel: “I once got in Gary Barlow’s way”
AmyC: “My cousin’s cousin is Danny Mills”
Norah: “I once snogged a guy whose gran knows Jon BonJovi’s mum”
Tripswitch: “I used to know Posh Spice’s sister’s best friend”
Funman: “Tina Turner once had a cup of tea in my house; but I wasn’t there”
Floaty: “My Dad has twice consumed alchohol in the same pub as Jethro”Â
Lia: “Richard E Grant and I listened to someone talk about their vagina”
Pog: “Lord Sebastian Coe sprayed me with sweat in a gym”
Lauren: “My best friend at school went to church with Mick Jagger’s cousin”
The Equally Prestigious International Award Nominees 2006
Banana: “My friend witnessed President Bush’s daughter get surprised on the loo”
BroLo: “I minded the door while a colleague met Sting”
Hev: “My husband’s Mum lived in the road where Ruth Madoc used to live”
Menace: “A former friend’s mum used to babysit Rick Astley”
Antonio: “I let Victoria Jackson pee first”
Jen: “Sean Penn cried in front of my mum about what a bitch Madonna was”
Moochy: “My Mum’s colleagues is the aunt of a member of the Artful Dodger”
Kevin: “I saw Natalie Cole’s buttcrack”
Catherine: “My dad met Liberace in a shopping mall”
Marsha: “My gynaecologist knows Lisa Kudrow’s lady parts as well as they know mine”
Sambucca: “David Bellamy and I sat around the same yak dung fire in Nepal”
Jef and Marsha get my vote.
I forgot to say that a man who cut my hair once also does Rachel Weiss’s hair.
Oh, Jef and Jen get my votes
Lauren and Menace get my vote.
I suppose it would be bad form to vote for myself? Yes? Oh, all right then – I vote for Dr T and Menace.
I vote for Lauren and BroLo.
Oh, I am late but I must say this is the funniest blog entry I have read in for evah!
Amphib and Kevin! 🙂
Sorry so late on the vote…been on an island and all… 😉
For pure cheesiness, I’d have to go with Norah and Catherine. Not that they’re cheesy; just the famous people…. Oh, never mind.
Um, Lia of course. Richard Grant and Vagina in one sentence – genius!
I see I’ve got one vote. Victory is MINE! ALL MINE!
By the way, you forgot to mention what we win.
Oooohhhh – I hope it’s cash.
Sweaty – actually I did mention what you win: it’s a bottle of plonk.
Amphib. and Marsha for me. I can’t help but think there’s something wrong about voting for a ‘rival’.
yah! I’ve been reminded that it was Jerry Hall talking about her vagina so double points?
i know i’m very new here, but would you mind swapping me to the internationals since i live in australia (and am in fact australian). only if it’s no trouble. and i’m so about to display my nominee image on my blog. what an honour!
oh, and i vote for norah and marsha.
Yuor precis is SO much better than my story.
Oh – I cannoned into Adam Ant once in Soho – knocked the little (and he is little) bugger flying into the road, I did …
And … and … and … I was picked on horribly by Graham Norton when he was compere at The Irish Club comedy night many years ago – my bastard ‘friends’ left me the seat right in front of the stage while I got their drinks at the bar. Gah.
Samb – I took a guess and assumed no-one outside the UK would have the foggiest idea who David Bellamy was!
Pog – Was this before or after Adam Ant became a knife-wielding psycho?
I’ll vote for Funman and Jen.
Moobs – Glad you could find the Anonymous comment on my blog funny; I’m pretty sure it came from my retarded ex-boyfriend. I can’t believe I ever dated someone that idiotic.
Probably after – but before he was reported for it. So – a lucky escape for me, I guess … eeep.
fair enough moobs, i had no idea who he was until someone told me. and all my other ones were from when i lived in england.
I vote for Jef and Jen. by the way, thanks for forcing the repressed memory of Ms. Cole’s saggy ass crack up from the depths of my sub-conscious. I think that I at least worked some of it out in my writing today.
p.s. how can a thong be comfortable? or doesn’t that matter?
Wow, someone voted for me!! Way cool. Thanks, Brother Lawrence!
I can’t believe I’ve discovered your blog only days too late. I could have dazzled you with the stars surrounding me! One even in Switzerland! Tsch. I always arrive when the party’s over.
ps I think the Sting one should win, firstly cos that’s a colleague you want to have, and second, because it hints at an illicit sting meeting.
Zoe don’t worry – just save them for next time. Does the fact that BroLo’s colleague was a monk make the meeting more or less illicit?
Does it make any difference that at the time, my father claimed that, had he noticed who it was quicker he wouldn’t have braked?
I have to vote for Lia – Jerry Hall and Richard E Grant all in one… wow!
Have been lobbied into voting by His Nibbs, Rick…..
Oh, im voting for him, btw
(I’d practice ur gracious loser face if i were u)
Since I am Jen’s sister and we share the same mom AND since wine is our drug of choice, I think she should be forced to split the prize, don’t you? Man, I woulda put up how Elle McPhearson was sucking Sean Penn’s toes at my uncle’s 60th birthday party.
I can’t comment on the space cadet thing.